The Truth About Sex
G-d has been laying it on my heart recently to start talking about sex. And the truth of what it means and why G-d has said what He has on the subject. I haven't found too many churches that truly go into the depth of what it is. Most churches say, "G-d says premarital sex is a sin" and leave it at that. But telling people that, especially teenagers, doesn't make them not want to do it. It's a crime, really, because if people understood the truth about the depth that sex touches your soul, they would be more likely to stay away from it not just because G-d said to,but because they want to prevent the pain of what it brings before it is time.
You have to know that G-d never said anything about how you live your life to take something away from you. The things He says is only because He made this world, and He made you, and He knows what will hurt you. He didn't set up a list of things that will send you to Hell. Those things are apart from Him and of Satan and so they lead you down the road to Hell. G-d is begging you not to do those things not because He wants to control you but He knows they won't lead you to Him.
The truth is, when it comes to sex, you are not just doing something with your body. Your soul is being tied to another persons soul. And honestly, I always knew about soul ties, but until recently I never understood what they meant. When your soul is tied to someone else's you don't feel like a whole person without them. Literally. You're off balance and just kind of slow. This isn't a bad thing if it is with the right person. Specifically, your spouse. G-d created marriage so that a man and woman could become one flesh. That's literal. It's not a metaphor, folks. So you really aren't a whole person without them. Without the confines of marriage, a soul tie can be a dangerous thing. There is security in marriage. The knowledge that if you have a sexual relationship with this person, bare everything you have physically and spiritually to them, that they won't up and leave without warning. If you're dating someone and having sex with them, or even living with them, what's to stop them from getting angry and leaving? Nothing. There is no legal contract. They have no obligation to you. If they get tired of you, they can walk away and start over. In marriage that's not how it works. The fact is, at some point your spouse will annoy you. They will make you angry. Everything that happens when you're dating someone that causes you to want to break up with them will happen in marriage. But instead of being a child and walking away, you have to be an adult and reignite the fire in your marriage. You have to work on things. You can't walk away from someone at the drop of a hat. I know people in my life that have terrible wounds from having sex before marriage and then being left broken and empty. Especially Christians. It's not fun. And THAT is why G-d said to wait for marriage. Because He loves you so much He cannot stand the thought of seeing you deal with that pain.
Sex before marriage can be frightening. You're worried about your body. Being naked in front of someone. Men and women both have their own worries and fears going into sex without the confines of marriage. And when you get married, if you have waited or not, you will still have those fears. But going into your wedding night, there is no shame. There is no shame in married sex. As a follower of Christ, when you sin, you feel shame. In marriage, there is no shame. G-d looks at married sex as worship! Crazy thought, right? He rejoices when two people have a union like that that is blessed by Him.
Now, taking it to the next step. Before Jesus came there were laws. You followed the laws, did the sacrifices, and you were good. No sex before marriage was one of those laws. And yes, it was just as much an issue back then as it is today. But after Jesus came, everything became about Spirit. It still matters what you do with your physical body but now it even matters what you think about. Yep. He said it. Jesus told us, who is G-d by the way, that if you look at someone and think about sex with them, or anything sexual for that matter, then you've done it. You just had sex with that person in G-d's eyes by wanting to see them naked. (Matthew 5:28) Whoa now. That's a radical teaching. So from there, if a married person looks at someone with lust in their heart they have committed adultery. They cheated on their spouse in the eyes of the King. And right there, causes a whole new issue. What are you allowing into your marriage?
Let's talk about single people. You've got needs just like anyone, right? We all get that. But it all still applies. The Bible talks about living a pure life and not taking advantage of a brother or sister sexually. Basically, if you aren't married to them; if you wouldn't do it with your sibling, don't do it with them. (1 Thessalonians 4:3-8) She is not your wife. He is not your husband. You are not married. So you don't know if you will end up marrying them. They could be destined to marry someone else. And if you do something you shouldn't, you're not just sinning against G-d and that person, but that person's spouse. It's a deep concept to live by and grasp onto, I know. I struggled with it so much as a single man. But it is what G-d has said to us in His Word. And it is important.
My wife and I dated for a little over a year before we got married. And our wedding night was the first time we had sex. And I wouldn't believe that if I hadn't lived it. By no means are we perfect, and neither are you, but we held to this very strongly because of G-d's promises. A few days after our wedding, we went out to lunch and we talked about how if we were not married, there is no way our spirit's could handle sex. It's so much deeper than what we can understand. Sex in marriage is awesome. If you don't wait, it won't be as special. It's an amazing thing to know that the person you are going to spend the rest of your life with thought that you were worth waiting for and didn't give themselves to anyone else. If you won't hold to what G-d has said for yourself, at least do it for your future spouse. Don't they deserve all of you and the best of you? Sex complicates everything. But it is so much more beautiful when you do it the way our Creator intended. As is everything in your life. If you've served Jesus for more than a few days, haven't you learned it's always better His way? I could talk for hours and hours about sex and why it's so very important to wait, but instead I will leave you with this:
Sex is not about you. It is about a physical representation of what is spiritually happening. No space between a man and woman in body or in spirit. If you play with it outside of G-d's guidelines, it's only going to hurt you and leave you empty. But when you do it His way, it's the most wonderful thing you'll experience. It's worship. The battle is rough, but you are not alone. Let's take the taboo away from talking about this in depth and as married followers of Christ, speak to the single brothers and sisters about what they're waiting for and why it is good. And as single people, speak to brothers and sisters in support and love to help each other live a life in the fullness of what our G-d made it to be.
You have to know that G-d never said anything about how you live your life to take something away from you. The things He says is only because He made this world, and He made you, and He knows what will hurt you. He didn't set up a list of things that will send you to Hell. Those things are apart from Him and of Satan and so they lead you down the road to Hell. G-d is begging you not to do those things not because He wants to control you but He knows they won't lead you to Him.
The truth is, when it comes to sex, you are not just doing something with your body. Your soul is being tied to another persons soul. And honestly, I always knew about soul ties, but until recently I never understood what they meant. When your soul is tied to someone else's you don't feel like a whole person without them. Literally. You're off balance and just kind of slow. This isn't a bad thing if it is with the right person. Specifically, your spouse. G-d created marriage so that a man and woman could become one flesh. That's literal. It's not a metaphor, folks. So you really aren't a whole person without them. Without the confines of marriage, a soul tie can be a dangerous thing. There is security in marriage. The knowledge that if you have a sexual relationship with this person, bare everything you have physically and spiritually to them, that they won't up and leave without warning. If you're dating someone and having sex with them, or even living with them, what's to stop them from getting angry and leaving? Nothing. There is no legal contract. They have no obligation to you. If they get tired of you, they can walk away and start over. In marriage that's not how it works. The fact is, at some point your spouse will annoy you. They will make you angry. Everything that happens when you're dating someone that causes you to want to break up with them will happen in marriage. But instead of being a child and walking away, you have to be an adult and reignite the fire in your marriage. You have to work on things. You can't walk away from someone at the drop of a hat. I know people in my life that have terrible wounds from having sex before marriage and then being left broken and empty. Especially Christians. It's not fun. And THAT is why G-d said to wait for marriage. Because He loves you so much He cannot stand the thought of seeing you deal with that pain.
Sex before marriage can be frightening. You're worried about your body. Being naked in front of someone. Men and women both have their own worries and fears going into sex without the confines of marriage. And when you get married, if you have waited or not, you will still have those fears. But going into your wedding night, there is no shame. There is no shame in married sex. As a follower of Christ, when you sin, you feel shame. In marriage, there is no shame. G-d looks at married sex as worship! Crazy thought, right? He rejoices when two people have a union like that that is blessed by Him.
Now, taking it to the next step. Before Jesus came there were laws. You followed the laws, did the sacrifices, and you were good. No sex before marriage was one of those laws. And yes, it was just as much an issue back then as it is today. But after Jesus came, everything became about Spirit. It still matters what you do with your physical body but now it even matters what you think about. Yep. He said it. Jesus told us, who is G-d by the way, that if you look at someone and think about sex with them, or anything sexual for that matter, then you've done it. You just had sex with that person in G-d's eyes by wanting to see them naked. (Matthew 5:28) Whoa now. That's a radical teaching. So from there, if a married person looks at someone with lust in their heart they have committed adultery. They cheated on their spouse in the eyes of the King. And right there, causes a whole new issue. What are you allowing into your marriage?
Let's talk about single people. You've got needs just like anyone, right? We all get that. But it all still applies. The Bible talks about living a pure life and not taking advantage of a brother or sister sexually. Basically, if you aren't married to them; if you wouldn't do it with your sibling, don't do it with them. (1 Thessalonians 4:3-8) She is not your wife. He is not your husband. You are not married. So you don't know if you will end up marrying them. They could be destined to marry someone else. And if you do something you shouldn't, you're not just sinning against G-d and that person, but that person's spouse. It's a deep concept to live by and grasp onto, I know. I struggled with it so much as a single man. But it is what G-d has said to us in His Word. And it is important.
My wife and I dated for a little over a year before we got married. And our wedding night was the first time we had sex. And I wouldn't believe that if I hadn't lived it. By no means are we perfect, and neither are you, but we held to this very strongly because of G-d's promises. A few days after our wedding, we went out to lunch and we talked about how if we were not married, there is no way our spirit's could handle sex. It's so much deeper than what we can understand. Sex in marriage is awesome. If you don't wait, it won't be as special. It's an amazing thing to know that the person you are going to spend the rest of your life with thought that you were worth waiting for and didn't give themselves to anyone else. If you won't hold to what G-d has said for yourself, at least do it for your future spouse. Don't they deserve all of you and the best of you? Sex complicates everything. But it is so much more beautiful when you do it the way our Creator intended. As is everything in your life. If you've served Jesus for more than a few days, haven't you learned it's always better His way? I could talk for hours and hours about sex and why it's so very important to wait, but instead I will leave you with this:
Sex is not about you. It is about a physical representation of what is spiritually happening. No space between a man and woman in body or in spirit. If you play with it outside of G-d's guidelines, it's only going to hurt you and leave you empty. But when you do it His way, it's the most wonderful thing you'll experience. It's worship. The battle is rough, but you are not alone. Let's take the taboo away from talking about this in depth and as married followers of Christ, speak to the single brothers and sisters about what they're waiting for and why it is good. And as single people, speak to brothers and sisters in support and love to help each other live a life in the fullness of what our G-d made it to be.
"Daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you: Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires." -Song of Solomon 8:4
