He Calls Me Child
Right now it is May. And for some reason that means: busy. I mean really busy. Lately adulthood and responsibility has been especially stressful for my wife and I. We plan on moving to a new town in the next month and we are very excited for what G-d has in store for that but the stress of moving has begun to sink in. We have one month until our lease runs up and as of now, we have no idea where we will be living. We have found many houses that are good options but nothing that just feels right. That along with, jobs, schedules, finances, bills, school, dogs, family, friends, etc. has made everything seem so much more stressful than it needs to be. I tell you all of this so that you understand my thought process a bit.
The other day, after looking at a couple houses that both had major things wrong with them that keeps them from being suitable for our needs, I was thinking about how stressful everything is. I was actually sitting in my car in the parking lot of my work about to go in for my shift. And all I could think is how badly I want to quit and live life next to my wife not ever worrying about anything. Ultimately, I was wishing to be a child again. I didn't think too much of it because quite frankly, even in the midst of stressful busy times, I love my life as it is. But today I was on my way to work and I wasn't even thinking about my wishes from two days ago and G-d just reminded me, "You are my child."
Of course, this is something we know already. But the way He was speaking to me was truly in a way of, "give up your worries, crawl into my lap, and let me be your Daddy."
I grew up without a father. My grandfather was my only father figure and as amazing as he is, there will always be a void a little boy, or little girl, will feel when their biological father is not around. And that is why most times when I turn to G-d, I turn to Him as my Savior, my Lover, my Friend. It takes a lot of focus on my part to truly let G-d be my Father. And today, it was as easy as it was for me to crawl into my papa's lap when I was little. That moment with G-d, while driving, was such a sweet moment to me. I love how He loves us. I love that He knows my core and He knows what I need to keep going.
We may grow up into adults and away from our parents, taking on responsibility, and even a family of our own in this life; but we will always be five-year-old children in the eyes of Father Yaweh. I can sit in His lap. I can cry in His arms and not be afraid to let my tears fall on His forearm. I can trust Him to hold me and love me with purity that my mind cannot even fathom.
There's a worship song I love that many times, when I am broken and hurting, G-d just reminds me to listen to. It's called Brokenness Aside by All Sons and Daughters. And the line that I love is, "Will You call me child when I tell you lies? Cause all I know is how to cry." And Daddy reminded me of that today. And as I felt His strong arms, that once hung bare on a tree, wrap around me; I felt like He was saying, "No matter where you go, no matter what you do, no matter how you see yourself, or what the enemy tells me about you; I love you. You are my child and I will never let you go. I am here, little one."
Prayer: Abba Father, I pray that You would instill this in me tonight. That You would let me grow closer to You as Your child with You as my Daddy. That You would make my ear attentive to Your Voice and that I would find joy in Your instruction. I pray that You would have mercy and grace over my family as You bring us into a new season and that You would give us the strength to die to ourselves and trust in You. Thank You, Jesus for Your Blood. Thank You for making a way for me to be adopted into sonship. And thank You, that You sent Holy Spirit to dwell with us so we wouldn't be left orphans. Thank You for loving me like no one else ever could. Thank You for calling me your child. In Jesus' Holy and beautiful, soul saving Name I pray, Amen.
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