Becoming A Missionary

Becoming A Missionary

     When I was two weeks away from turning 16 I planned to commit suicide. I didn't believe in G-d and I honestly hated the thought of Him. You couldn't talk to me then because I knew all about religion. My dad had been a Sunday School teacher. Yet, he would come home and abuse my siblings and I and our mom. He sexually abused me, too. And then when I was ten years old he finally left. During those years I had severe depression. I searched for meaning everywhere I could and came up empty. Nothing seemed worth living for. I began self harming at the age of 11. The same year I watched porn for the first time. I do not remember a time when suicide wasn't a plausible option for me. I thought about it all the time. As I got older, I whored myself out to anyone that paid any attention to me. At the end of it all, I found that no girlfriend, boyfriend, or anything else could make me happy. I was dating a guy at the time I planned to commit suicide. He strung me along for months and kept telling me I was worthless and that he didn't want to be with me. When he broke my heart the last time, I decided to finally go through with ending my life. But something miraculous happened. I was set to go on a weekend ministry retreat called Vida Nueva. I was only going because I was interested in this girl that wanted me to go. I got home from school that day and sat down to write a letter to my family explaining why I was taking my life. As I signed my name, I heard a car door slam outside. I looked out of my window and the people had shown up three hours too early to take me to the retreat. I stashed my letter and decided it could wait until I got back.

     I had no idea then that that was the G-d of the universe intervening to keep me alive. That weekend G-d chased me down and proved to me not only that He existed, but that He loved me more than I could ever know. What blew me away was to hear people preaching that used to be drug addicts. There was even one man that said he was gay before he was a Christian. I had no idea that was possible. I had no idea G-d would still want me after all that I had done. I had no idea that He still loved me and He still wanted my heart. That weekend, I surrendered my life to a G-d that I had hated. Jesus stopped me from killing myself and gave me a reason to keep living. 

     Shortly after that weekend, I felt a call to ministry. I knew that G-d had rescued me and as I read the pages of the Bible for the first time, I knew that He wanted me to tell people what He had done for me. My life wasn't perfect. In a lot of ways, things got harder. I still made plenty of mistakes and for a while there I backslid in a really bad way. Matthew 12:43-45 says, “When the unclean spirit has gone out of a person, it passes through waterless places seeking rest, but finds none. Then it says, ‘I will return to my house from which I came.’ And when it comes, it finds the house empty, swept, and put in order. Then it goes and brings with it seven other spirits more evil than itself, and they enter and dwell there, and the last state of that person is worse than the first. So also will it be with this evil generation.” That happened for me. And again, the suicidal spirit came back and I wanted to die. It was stronger than it ever was before. But yet again, Jesus stepped in and rescued me. I still make mistakes. But G-d has done so much work in me. He has had grace for me in an unbelievable way. I have my amazing wife that loves me like Jesus loves me, and I have a beautiful baby boy that I get to be a father to. And now I am a college student at Liberty University Online working towards my Bachelor's in the science of religion with a minor in counseling. I have a 4.0 and I made the dean's list. I want to keep going with this to make a better life for my family and be able to more effectively help broken people find healing.

     In the last year, G-d has done incredible things with us. We have experienced so much healing and honestly, revival. It's like we've been awakened from a very long sleep. That really came about through the internship we did at the International House Of Prayer: Atlanta. I spent many hours in the presence of the Lord in prayer and I took classes like Attributes of G-d, The Greatest Commandment, and The Life of David. It was through all of this time of healing and restoration that we sought the Lord about ministry. It is here that He showed us our hearts and what He has put in them for Himself to use in this world. We know without a shadow of a doubt that we are called to shepherd emotionally and spiritually wounded people into the healing of Christ unto a place of true freedom. 

     We want to help people that are where I was and have been before in my life. Emory University has stated that on average, 94 people commit suicide every day. The highest risk age being 18-25 years old. We want to spread the Gospel in such a way so that people know that they are loved and they don't have to die like this. Gwinnett County alone has over 500 homeless men and women and children. The number is increasing. We want to help these people. We want to share Jesus with them and let them know that they are loved. We want to work with shelters and help feed these people and do whatever we can. We are called to not just bring people to Christ, but to serve the poor and dirty. (James 1:27) We also want to disciple youth and give them accountability so they don't have to feel the way I did as a teenager and they don't have to make the same mistakes as me. In order to do all of this, we are going on staff at the International House Of Prayer. 

     Doing what we are doing is going to take all of our time. We will be considered Intercessory Missionaries. We believe as important as it is to go out and serve and evangelize, that it is all fueled and sparked by prayer. The biggest part of our job is intercession. Every missionary at the House of Prayer raises their own partner team. We are in the process of raising ours. We have had many people partner with us that love us and believe in what we feel called to do. Partnership involves consistent financial giving as well as prayer. It's all about sharing our heart. The chapter that G-d has been highlighting to us and speaking over us in this is Isaiah 61. We have had many of our partners suggest that we talk to friends of theirs that have a heart for the broken in this way. There are goers and senders. We believe that we are goers to the city of Atlanta and to the nations. Maybe you are a sender. If you're reading this, please share it. If you're reading this and you want to help us do what we feel so strongly called to do; to disciple youth, go to the homeless and serve, go to prisons and talk to them about Jesus, walk the streets of Atlanta and bring light to dying souls, then please contact me or Megan and we would love to talk to you more about partnership. Even if it's just prayer partnership. It's all very important. Please help us fight the good fight. Share this post with your friends and tell them to contact us if they want to know more. Thank you for reading and thank you for helping us. G-d has already raised a partner team for us, now we just have to find them. 

We are one. We are the body. We are the bride. Let's unite and fight together.